Sunday, December 30, 2007

Simpsonize This

I consider myself a Simpsons fan, so I am ashamed to say that I never saw the movie until it came out on DVD. It actually bothers me that I didn't see it in the theaters. The Simpsons can be watched on TV everyday, but it's a rare thing to get to watch those lovable crazy characters in a theater. Oh well.

Now it's hard to think of things that bug me from The Simpsons Movie. Mostly because of the type of comedy that is used. Unrealistic is normal in the Simpson's world. So, the government putting a huge glass dome over the city of Springfield to keep them from polluting the rest of the country didn't really bother me. However, the huge TV screen embedded in the side of the dome, so the head of the EPA could talk to the citizens, did bug me a bit. That's just dumb.

Why is Arnold Schwarzenegger the president of the U.S.? That's not even constitutional. And why does he look and talk just like Renier Wolfcastle? They should have just made him president.

Funny movie though. Another recommendation is the new Futurama movie, Bender's Big Score. It's hillarious as well.

This is what I look like as a Simpson character! ---->

Q is for Queer (as in odd, or unusual, not the gay one)

When I think about movies that bug me, the one that tops the list is John Q. The thing that bugs me is that everyone cheers for John Q (Denzel Washington). I saw this movie twice shortly after it came out on DVD, with different groups of people. Both times the people I was with were cheering for John Q, hoping he would succeed, and I was cheering for the cops. Don't people realize that he is the bad guy? He took an entire emergency room hostage! That's what bad guys do!

What bugs me even more is that even the people he took hostage were on his side. When they were released the Hispanic lady comments to reporters that John Q. is a good man. Then that one annoying guy says that John Q. saved a man's life. He was referring to the guy the paramedics brought in for a bullet wound. John Q. let him in the ER and forced the doctor to treat him. So I guess he did save his life. Because if he wouldn't have been there holding the ER hostage, the paramedics would have just left him outside to die. Thank goodness he was there to force the Doctor to treat him.

The worst part of this movie was when the stupid sniper failed to shoot John Q. The best part was when the jury convicted him, and the police took him away.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

I Am Not a Legend

I recently saw I Am Legend. I enjoyed the movie, and it kept me entertained. Of course there were a couple things that bugged me. For probably the first half of the movie I thought that the "outbreak" was only in New York City. I thought only people in New York had turned to vampires, and Will Smith was stuck there by himself because he wanted to find a cure. It turned out the disease had spread throughout the world, and Will was the lone survivor (or so he thought). Now, of course this could be my own dumbness and not the movie's fault. But still, they should have made it clearer.

Another problem I have with it... Where did all the wildlife come from? Why is there a herd of elk (or deer, antelope, I don't know, they're all the same to me) running through NYC? And what about the Lions? I guess they could have come from the zoo, but wouldn't all the zoo animals just die in their cages without food? Just because people have turned into zombie vampires doesn't mean the city will fill with wildlife. Why does Will need to hunt the wildlife when he has tons of food already in his apartment?

Now, I don't want to give away the ending because the movie is still in theaters. I just have one more annoyance to share. He puts UV lights around the perimeter of his house to protect himself from the vampires. Why doesn't he also put them inside his house, just in case they get in. He was smart enough to put guns all over his house, and even grenades, but he wasn't smart enough to install some life saving light fixtures.

Big Bird Believes

I debated whether or not I should write about a movie most people won't know, and I decided it doesn't matter. There is a wonderful movie called Christmas Eve On Sesame Street. It was made in the 70s I think, back when Sesame Street was good. My family has always watched this movie on Christmas Eve, and I think we always will. It's tradition, and its a pretty good show.

However, there is one thing about the movie that bugs me. Oscar asks Big Bird how Santa gets down all the small chimneys. Big Bird doesn't know. Then Oscar tells him he better find out or Santa won't be able to come down the chimney and bring presents. The rest of the show follows Big Bird's quest to figure out how he does it. The thing that bothers me is that they keep saying, "if we don't figure out how he comes down the chimney, nobody will get any presents." That's not even logical! Why would their lack of knowledge keep Santa from coming and leaving presents? They don't need to know how he does it in order for him to do it. I don't know how a toilet works, but it still does. Ok, actually I do know. A toilet isn't that complicated. I was just trying to think of something similar to a fat man going down a small chimney. :)

I have to keep reminding myself throughout the show that they are just kids, even Big Bird, and kids don't always use common sense. I hate to give away the ending, but if you haven't seen it yet that's your own problem. Big Bird never figures out how Santa does it, but he still comes and leaves presents. Then Gordon, bless his soul, explains to Big Bird why he didn't need to know, and the important thing is that they had found him, because he was lost, not Gordon, but Big Bird, because he was on the roof waiting for Santa. Anyway, it's a good show, even though it bugs me a little.

On a future posting I will share what I hate about present day Sesame Street, compared to Sesame Street when I was a kid. Be excited!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Hello everybody. This is my first blog post ever. I have never had a blog before. In fact I've always thought they were kind of lame. But recently I've been thinking a lot about starting up a website. I came up with some good ideas, but they wont be ready for a while. So in the meantime I thought it would be fun to do a blog.

Coming up with a theme for this thing was hard. Do blogs even need themes? I asked myself. Then I asked the internet, and it said no, but it's better if they do. Anyway, this blog is about things in movies that bug me. It's not necessarily about bad movies, just things that make you think, "why did they do that?" or "that doesn't make sense," or "that's stupid."

Since today is Christmas, I'm going to share with you an anoyance I have had forever with Christmas movies. Here's the thing... In almost all Christmas movies Santa is real, but nobody believes he is except for the kids, of course. If Santa is real, wouldn't the parents know? Where do they think the presents come from each year? There are so many examples. In Miracle On 34th Street nobody believes in Santa. Not even the little girl at first! They even have a trial to determine if the guy really is Santa. So does Santa go to the houses and if the parents already left stuff out he doesn't leave anything. That has to be the case, because if he left stuff the parents should know that Santa is real.

In The Santa Clause he is actually on the roof ready to go down the chimney when he falls and dies. Tim Allen goes out and ends up becomming Santa Claus and even taking a trip to the North Pole. He gets back from the North Pole and still doesn't believe until he starts getting fat and growing a white beard. What would have happened if the other Santa hadn't fallen and died? The next day there would have been presents under the tree, just like there was the year before, and Tim would have realized that Santa was real. Or would he? No. That's just the way it is.

In conclusion I have to say I'm not really sure how they could fix the problem, or if they even need to. Most Christmas movies wouldn't work if the parents believed. So, whatever, it still bugs me though.

p.s. why did none of the elves even aknowledge the death of the old Santa? They weren't sad or anything. They didn't even seem to notice there was a new Santa. Did he beat them?