Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit

Mr. Bean is one of the funniest characters ever created.  In my mind Rowan Atkinson is a genius.  A few months ago a new Bean movie, entitled Mr. Bean's Holiday was released.  It didn't get very good ratings.  I thoroughly enjoyed it, but I'm a Bean fan.  Black, red, kidney, refried, they're all good.  Except for green.  Those are gross.  Oh, wait, we're not talking about food.

The movie I actually want to complain about today is the original Bean movie that came out in 1997.  It was bad for so many reasons.  First of all they brought Bean to the United States.  It felt weird the whole time, like he was transplanted into a movie he didn't belong in.  In the new movie he travels to France instead.  It actually helps the movie, because he can't understand or speak the language.  That's good, because he isn't supposed to speak much. Keeping him in Europe made it feel more like the show.  He was also able to drive a Mini.

Another annoying thing about the old movie is that they reused so many of the same gags done in the TV show.  Did they think we wouldn't notice?  In the new movie he did some of the same types of weird things, which showed us that he is the same character with the same personality, but none of the same gags were recycled.   Thank goodness no turkeys got stuck on Bean's head.

There actually were a couple things from the new movie that bugged me a bit.  It always bugs me when people are trying to accomplish a task and things constantly go wrong to impede them.  This is kind of what the whole movie was about, but the part where he kept missing the train, and he lost his wallet, bothered me.  I just don't like when bad things happen to good people.  I also would have liked to see the "girlfriend" from the TV show.  She's funny.

p.s.  I couldn't remember if the song was "beans, beans, the musical fruit" or "magical fruit."  I looked it up, and both versions exist!  Here is a link to the wikipedia article.

Let The Cheese Drip

High School Musical is the biggest thing these days it seems.  No, I am not a fourteen year old girl, but yes, I have seen both of the High School Musical movies.  As far as cheesy Disney musicals go, they weren't that bad.  Possibly the most annoying thing about these movies is all the hype they get.  Of course there are a couple things about the actual show that bugged me as well.

Now I understand the way musicals work.  People go about their everyday business, and then suddenly break out into song.  Music begins to play with no musicians around.  Strangers begin singing and dancing, and everybody for some reason already knows the words to the song and the steps to the dance.  That's how all musicals are, but for some reason it seems weird when the musical is actually about a musical.  It just doesn't seem right when the girl who wrote the song hands the music to Troy and Gabriella and tells them it's a new song for them to learn, and when they begin singing it, they already know how it goes.  The girl clearly said it was a new song she just wrote!  I also find it kind of odd that the lyrics to some of the songs they sing are actually about not being able to or liking to sing and dance.

Something else that makes me wonder when I watch High School Musical is why there are only juniors in the school.  The entire basketball team is made up of juniors, and the entire cast of the play are juniors.  Sharpay and Ryan say that they have always been the stars of the school plays.  Well it seems like there is only one play a year.  That only leaves one or possibly two plays they could have starred in, depending on if the high school has freshmen in it or starts with sophomores.  Many new schools will not have seniors their first year, which could explain the lack of seniors in the movie, but there is no indication in the movie that this is the first year the school is in existence.  Maybe most of the students drop out before their senior year because they are sick of people singing and dancing willy nilly in the hallways.

Where Was Dwight?

The movie License To Wed should have been called The Office Movie.  It doesn't have Steve Carell, and Jim is dating Mandy Moore instead of Pam, but other than that it's The Office movie.  There were 4, count them 4, actors from The Office in this movie!  I love The Office, but it was really annoying to me that they used so many of the same actors for this movie.  John Krasinski was good for the lead, but I'm sure they could have found other people to play those minor roles.

Didn't the lady who played Mandy Moore's sister play the exact same role in The Wedding Singer?  It doesn't really bug me.  I just thought I would mention it.

Just a couple other annoyances with this movie... When Ben was in the Reverend's house, he found the divorce papers way too easily.  I don't think something like that would be so easy to find in a strangers house.  Then Robin William's explanation for why he married the Guatemalan lady was dumb.  Isn't it illegal to marry someone just so they can get a green card, then get divorced.  It should be if it isn't.  I really don't think she would have been killed if

 she went back to Guatemala.  I've been there, and they don't just kill people willy nilly.  Ha! Willy nilly! What a great term.  I'll have to use that more often.

To Be or Not To Be Witched

In case you haven't noticed, this blog is not about only new and recently released movies. It's about any movie ever made that has something in it that bugs me. Today is about Bewitched. It's not that old, but I just thought I needed to say something so people don't wonder why I'm not talking about Alvin and The Chipmunks. I'm sure when I see it, I'll have something to say about it.
Most remakes have problems. Sure, it was kind of a clever idea to make the movie about people making a remake of the original show, but it would have been better if they just made a straightforward remake. Does that make sense? It does to me.

The biggest thing in this movie that bothered me was Uncle Arthur. Steve Carell did a great job playing the character, but he just didn't belong. Was he a dream or was he real? At first it seems like Jack (Will Ferrell ) is just dreaming, but then he wakes up and Uncle Arthur is still there. So he was real. But that doesn't make sense. How could he be real? Uncle Arthur was a fictional character from the original TV show. Even in this movie Bewitched is a fictional TV show. Nicole Kidman's character was a witch, but she wasn't the real Samantha. And what was the deal with the Endora lady? Apparently she was a real witch too, although they never confirmed it really. Was she the real Endora, or just an actress playing Endora on a show about a show, on a movie? I'm so confused. Isn't Endora the planet where the Ewoks live?

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang We Love You!

I was chatting with my family today about people's accents in various movies. We came up with a number of movies that had accent discrepancies. In Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, everybody has a English accent except for Kevin Costner. No wonder the Sheriff of Nottingham hated him so much. He thought he was American. That confused him, because America didn't exist back then, and it filled him with hatred. And why does Maid Marian hang out with a giant hen all the time? Oh wait, that was a different movie.

In The Hunt For Red October, Sean Connery plays a Russian submarine captain, but he has a Scottish accent. Strange.

The one that bugs me the most for some reason is Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The movie takes place in England, and Dick Van Dyke plays the lead character. For some weird reason he does not have an English accent! Yet his kids and his father in the film do. We know he can do an English accent. This movie was made just a few years after Mary Poppins. Maybe his accent was copyrighted by Disney, and this movie wasn't made by Disney. Hmm, It's a mystery. This looks like a job for Dr. Mark Sloan! (if you get that reference, congratulations)

Seat's taken

Recently while watching TV I came across the great movie Forrest Gump, so I watched the last half of it. I've seen it many times of course. It's such a great movie. It's so well written, and acted, and everything else. It really bothers me though how big of a jerk Jenny is. She treats Forrest like crap, and he continues to love her. It reminds me of this weird girl who is infatuated with me even though I ignore her. People tell me I should be rude to her, so she would get the point, but I just can't. I'm not a rude guy. Can't she tell that I'm not interested by my ignoring? She really is weird too. Anyway, back to the real subject. That situation doesn't really relate to the movie anyway.

Jenny was just using Forrest to have a child. She didn't even tell him about the child until he was like 5 years old. And I don't want to hear the excuse was because he was busy running. All she had to do was go out to the highway and wait for him to pass by. Then she only married him because she was dying and she wanted someone to take care of her and the child. Which is not necessarily a bad reason for marrying, but it just proves that she never really loved him. She was also a jerk.

Happy New Year!

Well, I guess the Christmas season is officially over, but I'm going to write about a Christmas movie anyway. Or am I? No I'm not. Because in my opinion White Christmas is not a Christmas movie at all. I saw this old classic for the first time all the way through just a couple weeks ago. I was sorely disappointed with the lack of Christmas cheer in it. Sure, it's a good movie. The acting and singing is good. In fact, I think Danny Kaye is always great. He's so funny. But for a movie with Christmas in the title, I think they needed more than just one Christmas song. There's only one at the very end!

Now most musicals are cheesy and lame, it's just in their nature, but some of the songs in this show were a little too cheesy and lame. The one they sing at the beginning and also at the end about how much they love the general was just dumb. Now I've never been in the military, but it doesn't seem normal to love your commanding officer so much that you will actually join in song singing, "because we love him, we love him."